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Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke

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In addiction and family
Jul 28th, 2014
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setting boundaries with your adult children

 

For a different take on setting boundaries that is often used in addiction and family situations, there is

Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke

I say it's a "different take" because some people really love this book and others really don't.  I think that it largely depends upon your personal background and what you are willing to take a look at yourself in the process of dealing with your children.  This is because the book is largely Christian-oriented and refers to biblical teachings quite a bit.  If this isn't up your alley, and it isn't for some, then this may be a book that you might want to pass by.    Bottke has quite a few "setting boundaries" books now and they focus on her principle of S.A.N.I.T.Y., which stands for:

S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
A = Assemble a Support Group
N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
T = Trust Your Instincts
Y = Yield Everything to God

There is some good information about this book but I think that it gets bogged down with religion a bit much and this isn't something that you are told you'll find between the covers when you skim the short book description.  I don't get much out of books that talk about "the devil".  In fact, they are quite the turn off for me.  I do believe that we all, including our adult children, make mistakes and that there are consequences for those.  I also believe that we need to learn to set healthy boundaries and take care of ourselves first before we can be of any use to anyone else.  I'm not sure how well these principles are taught in this book, at least not in the way that I would recommend them to a reader.

However, if you'd like to grab a copy of Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke,  you can get it here:

Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children Setting BoundariesTM with Your Adult Children
Author: Allison Bottke

Description

This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones.Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text.A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of MoneyA = Assemble a Support GroupN = Nip Excuses in the BudI = Implement Rules/BoundariesT = Trust Your InstinctsY = Yield Everything to GodForeword by Carol Kent (When I Lay My Isaac Down)

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