Boundaries by Henry Cloud

By reads
In books on addiction
Sep 23rd, 2014



An interesting take on codependency issues that incorporates Christian teachings is

Boundaries by Henry Cloud

I say "interesting" because I have mixed feelings about this book.  First published in 2008, it's long title is Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No.  These two authors, Henry Clod and Dr. John Townsend have now made an enterprise out of their many different "Boundaries" books.    On the one hand, the concept of learning to set and keep boundaries in all areas of our lives is essential, especially if codependency is an issue.  Boundaries ensure that we are able to live a balanced life and take good care of ourselves first, so that we are able to be of use and service to others in many ways.

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” - Henry Cloud

The underlying premise of the book is spot on - that we can't control what other people say and do, but that we can control our reactions to things and we can make our own choices in life.   What gets so many people, including myself, twisted with this book is the insistence on injecting scripture into every aspect of it.   The authors believe that our boundaries, and conflicts regarding them, have everything to do with God.  I think that, while a spiritual connection certainly lightens any and all loads in life, this assertion is a bit much.  These Christian Psychologists are muddying what could be some pretty clear waters when it comes to setting and keeping boundaries and I didn't find the book much to my taste.

If you'd like to give this one a read, get your copy of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No by Henry Cloud from the link below:

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